Send in the Clown

Your name is ZUBRAE ALGEDI and this is THE NIGHT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Not only will you get to hangout with all of your friends ONE LAST TIME, but you're going to play what has been promised as A GAME THAT IS BASICALLY MAGIC. Finally some fucking magic!

But who cares about the plans of some creep with a PAINTED FACE? Maybe now would be a good time to actually introduce yourself. You consider yourself a connoisseur of MOVIES OF THE HORROR VARIETY, including those involving DERANGED SERIAL KILLERS and THE UNLIVING and all flavors of spooky in between. Likewise most of your video game collection is full of SURVIVAL-HORROR games overflowing with confusing puzzles, but you are also a fan of many other types of games like your favorite series LAUGHSASSIN'S CREED. Speaking of which, you are planning on becoming a LAUGHSASSIN in service to the GLORIOUS ALTERNIAN EMPIRE when you are evacuated from the planet on your RAPIDLY APPROACHING 10TH WRIGGLING DAY.

It should also be mentioned that you are a DEVOTED FOLLOWER of a STRANGE CIRCUS CULT and eagerly await THE END OF THE WORLD for fulfillment of the DARK CARNIVAL PROPHECY. You could probably ramble all night about the LAUGHING JESTER SAINTS and the stories of the JOKER CARDS, but we don't have time for that! Let's just skip ahead.

Somehow, you managed to accumulate a number of friends; NONBELIEVERS but NONETHELESS BELOVED. You've made most of your friends through your moirail who tends to make a better impresson, except your best bro and the science guy. Your moirail has kept you pacified and mostly out of trouble since grubhood, and you are somewhat OVERPROTECTIVE of her. You are also in a frustrating caliginous relationship that occasionally drifts into the flushed quadrant. You can't even remember what it is at the moment, it depends on how your next interaction goes. Lastly, your moirail is also trying to auspitize between you and a CERTAIN SEADWELLER.

Your trolltag is jokersLotus and y()u are ready t() see just h()w miracul()us a game c()uld be. EXCEPT Y()U D()NT HAVE Y()UR C()PY YET

What will you do?

Zubrae: Double check your SICK makeup is still looking good

Zubrae approaches the mirror next to his desk and examines his face paint. Looking good! He smiles through the painted grin, but quickly forms a frown. This mirthful guise was good while growing up, expressing joy regardless of what his physical face showed, but it will soon be time to adopt a more frightful design, something more fitting of the sick and twisted Laughsassin he hopes to be. For the rest of his stay on Alternia, however, Zubrae plans to keep his old style.

Zubrae: Go get some munchies! You must be hungry.

What's that growling? Oh wait, it's Zubrae's digestion pit. He takes a seat at his computer desk, opens a drawer on the side, and removes a jar with a perforated lid. The lower floors of his hive are literally crawling with delicious, nutritious cave crickets, and Zubrae likes to keep some near his computer for a convenient snack. The lid is removed and he pops an insect in his mouth. Crunchy! Zubrae removes the single object occupying his sylladex, Rock & Rye flavored Faygo, to go with the crickets.

Zubrae: While you wait for your copy, you might as well check on your lusus, lest he get angry.

Zubrae sealed the lid back on the jar, downed the rest of the soda, and left his respiteblock to find his lusus. Oddly, he was no where to be found in the lower levels of the hive, nor in his cavern. Becoming a little concerned, Zubrae called out to him. "Hey! Where the fuck did you go?" Zubrae sighed in disbelief. How do you lose a lusus that big? As he was ascending to search some of the upper blocks, a loud banging noise came from above. "Aw shit."

He dashed upstairs to find his lusus curled atop the main stairwell, attempting to bash the tower door open. "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Zubrae shouted. The serpent turned and struck Zubrae with his snout, knocking him backwards. Zubrae caught himself against the wall a dozen steps back down the stairs, and saved himself from what could have been a painful tumble all the way down. Marching back up to his lusus, Zubrae equipped his hatchet for negotiating. "Bad lusus! BAD! You're acting like Kaiser's fucking bugmom!" Cobradad hisses loudly, showing his fangs in depreciation of that comment.

Zubrae hissed back, baring fangs of his own while gripping the axe's handle tightly with both hands. Angered, his lusus lowered his head again and Zubrae jumped to the side to avoid being knocked back down or possibly bitten. The venom no longer has much of an effect on him, but that doesn't mean the fangs don't still sting. Instead, Cobradad slithered downstairs, likely back to his cavern. "You know you're not allowed outside by yourself!" Zubrae shouted down the stairwell.

Normally his lusus was content to remain in the hive and be fed, but lately he's been trying to escape, something he hasn't done for sweeps. If he were to get out, Zubrae's not sure if he would come back on his own. More importantly, the trouble a giant snake could cause in the nearby forest. Morgan's lusus has enough predators as it is, and he would feel terrible if he was indirectly responsible for its death.

> Zubrae: Maybe you should try and investigate why your lusus is ackin' so cray cray.